After eight years of being barren Rachel gives birth to Yosef. She gives her gratitude to Hashem saying אסף אלקים את חרפתי Hashem gathered in my shame. Rashi explains that it is referring to the shame of being barren and unable to fulfill the role of a woman to bear children. Rashi continues with a second interpretation which is that now with a child she has the ability to deflect to him any criticism that she receives. If she breaks an item in the house she can now remove her shame by blaming it on Yosef. If there are cookies missing from the cookie jar she could respond that it could have been Yosef who was hungry and noshed on it.
The question arises that this cannot possibly be the unexpected trivial response that comes from such a tzadekes who yearned so much to play a role in the building of Am Yisrael without which she declared herself spiritually dead.
Let us take a moment to discuss the dynamics of true gratitude. Chazal Berachos 59 ask what should one say when it rains and Rav Yehuda says
על כל טיפה וטיפה שהורדת לנו Thank you Hashem for every drop of rain that you showered down upon us. We see from this that one is obligated to feel gratitude to Hashem even for the smallest of chesed that He bestows upon us even if it is merely a few droplets of rain.
We bentch Hashem every day in Shemoneh Esrai for giving us wisdom and intellect. What measure of intellect or understanding that we receive that would make us incumbent to start thanking Hashem? We can learn the answer from another beracha in Bircas Hashachar that of הנותן לשכוי בינה להבחין בין יום ובין לילה that Hashem gives to the rooster understanding to differentiate between day and night. How much amount of בינה does the rooster need in order to crow and distinguish between day and night? Maybe a drop in the ocean compared to the magnitude of understanding and intellect possessed by a human being. Yet that is enough to thank Hashem for bestowing this droplet of binah in the שכוי in order to awaken us at dawn in to start our day. How much more so must we be thankful to Hashem for the continuous flow of chachmah and bina with billions of neurons in the brain communicating through electrical and chemical signals processing and forming thought patterns constantly.
Every Motzei Shabbos we make in Havdala a beracha over fire. Chazal say the reason being is because when the first Motzei Shabbos emerged Adam Harishon became frightened because he never experienced darkness. Chazal say that from the moment he was created even after the chait he was basking in the presence of the Ohr Haganuz until after Shabbos. Hashem granted Adam with the binah to rub two stones together and create fire. How much binah did Adam need to be given the insight to create a fire with two stones, a drop or two. Yet every Motzei Shabbos we thank Hashem for gifting Adam with the know how to bring light in the darkness and fire to cook and warm oneself.
According to this logic whenever we fly in a plane we should thank Hashem for giving the Wright Brothers the idea of inventing a machine that can fly in the air. We should thank Hashem for Benjamin Franklin for his insight in electricity and for others to build upon until this very day. When we speak on our phones across the world we should thank Hashem for granting understanding to Alexander Bell for inventing the first telephone opening up a never ending field of upgrading technological communications. And we should thank Hashem for the first one who invented the disposable plastic table cloths thereby making our Shabbos and Yom Tov cleanup of the meals a breeze.
After one has to relieve himself in the bathroom he washes his hands and recites the beracha of אשר יצר which thanks Hashem in detail for creating the miraculous body that Man possesses. While praising Hashem for his body, he should take the opportunity to thank Hashem for the invention of indoor plumbing thereby having the convenience of functioning running water, a toilet and shower instead of an Out House and a water well somewhere distant from his house especially at nighttime in the dark.
Rav Simcha Zissel Brody ztl explains that this is the manner in which we must interpret Rachel's gratitude to Hashem for meriting to give birth to Yosef. Without question Rachel thanked Hashem profusely for removing her shame of being barren and to now be able to play an active role in the creation of Am Yisrael. However this did not deter her from acknowledging the minor and even trivia benefits that came along with this special birth such as now I have someone to blame to remove my shame. She did not lose sight of the trees even its leaves while looking at the forest from above. The chesed of Hashem must be viewed and perceived with all its smallest details and ripple effects that can become evident even centuries later in time. The Torah commands us to remember always Yetzias Mitzrayim every day for without it אנו ובנינו היו משועבדים לפרעה במצרים.
A hint to this gratitude of על כל טיפה וטיפה that on every drop one must give thank you, is found in the gematriah אסף אלהים את חרפתי is equal כל טפה טפה
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Yosef the son of Rachel inherited this trait from his mother. A hint to this is that יוסף הצדיק עה"כ is gematriah rooster .לשכוי The Torah relates that when Yosef was being sold by his brothers down to Mitzrayim as a slave he was bought by a special caravan carrying sweet smelling incense. This was extraordinary since the Arabs normally carry bad smelling materials. Rashi comments that Hashem made this small alteration in order that Yosef would have a more pleasant journey.
I ask you, in this situation when a 17 year old yeshivah bachur experienced an attempted murder by his own brothers, afterwards to be thrown into a pit to die by snakes and scorpions, then sold as a slave to a foreign country probably never to be seen again, does he have nothing else to focus his attention on in the midst of his severe "triple" trauma other than a pleasant scent full trip. The answer is that Yosef is Rachel's child who never misses the small details even in the big tumultuous picture. Hashem knew for sure that he would definitely notice the change in the caravan and appreciate that Hashem's hashgacha is together with him even during his darkest hour and that he is not entirely forsaken.
Another example of Yosef modeling himself after his mother's sensitivity to the small kindnesses is when Yosef is in the dungeon with the baker and wine butler. He sees them and notices that they seem down and unsettled. He approaches them and inquires why they are in a bad mood. They reply that they both had dreams last night and they are perturbed that there is no one to interpret them. Yosef offered to interpret their dreams. The butler returned to his former position and later in time he told Pharaoh that Yosef in the dungeon rendered a true interpretation to his dream. Yosef was immediately called to Pharaoh to interpret his own dreams and Pharaoh appointed him viceroy over Mitzrayim. When a famine came to Eretz Yisrael Yaakov and his mishpacha descended to Mitzrayim and settled in Goshen with all their needs taken care of by Yosef.
Who said that a simple greeting of "Good Morning" or "Can I help you" could make such a cataclysmic difference and change, in the course of Am Yisrael's history. Only because Yosef took an interest to make an individual momentarily happy, did this selling of Yosef end on a spectacular redemption of Yaakov Avinu and his entire mishpacha and the creation of its seventy members into the flourishing Jewish Nation of millions.
Shmos Rabba 2,3
(ג) ד"א ומשה היה רועה הה"ד (משלי ל) כל אמרת אלוה צרופה אין הקב"ה נותן גדולה לאדם עד שבודקהו בדבר קטן ואח"כ מעלהו לגדולה הרי לך שני גדולי עולם שבדקן הקב"ה בדבר קטן ונמצאו נאמנים והעלן לגדולה בדק לדוד בצאן ולא נהגם אלא במדבר להרחיקם מן הגזל שכן אליאב אומר לדוד (שמואל א יז) ועל מי נטשת מעט הצאן ההנה במדבר מלמד שהיה דוד מקיים המשנה אין מגדלים בהמה דקה בארץ ישראל אמר ליה הקב"ה נמצא אתה נאמן בצאן בא ורעה צאני שנאמר (תהלים עח) מאחר עלות הביאו וכן במשה הוא אומר וינהג את הצאן אחר המדבר להוציאן מן הגזל ולקחו הקב"ה לרעות ישראל שנאמר (שם עז) נחית כצאן עמך ביד משה ואהרן:
We must remember that without water drops there can be no oceans, without steps there can be no stairs, without little things there can be no big things.
דבר קטן equals 365. It equals the gematriah יוסף הצדיק. Let us try to do even one small chesed such as a smiling "hello" to another person every day of the year and bring Hashem's light into the world.