One is prohibited to hate another Yid לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך ואהבת לרעך כמוך (Vayikra 19, 17-18). We must note that in this issur the Torah writes the plural form of the heart לבבך instead of לבך (see Rashi Devarim 6,5). Furthermore what is the Torah conveying here with a general prohibition of hating a fellow Jew? Concerning רשעים who transgresses the mitzvos of the Torah we are allowed to have hatred towards them (Tehillim 139,21) and some learn that it is even a mitzvah to hate them (Mishlei 8,13) יראת ה' שנאת רע.

Tosfos in Pesachim 113b asks a question that seemingly contradicts this permission or mitzvah to hate the wicked from Baba Metziah 32b. The passuk says Shmos 23,5 כי תראה חמור שונאך רובץ תחת משאו וחדלת מעזוב לו עזוב תעזוב עמו. If one sees the donkey of this enemy has fallen to the floor because of the heavy load on its back he must stop and help his enemy remove the load from his donkey. What happens in the scenario when one simultaneously encounters two individuals, one his friend and the other his enemy and they both need help? His friend needs aid to unload the burden from the donkey who has fallen, and his enemy needs help to reload the bundle that fell off the animal. Both of these actions are mitzvos. He must choose to help first his enemy reload his animal. The gemarah asks that his friend's situation is more demanding since it also has an issur of tzaar baalei chayim bound with it. How then can you choose to help your enemy first when that issur is not even involved in the chesed of helping your enemy. The gemarah answers nevertheless his priority choice in helping must still be directed to his enemy. Why? In order to subdue his yetzer harah.

Back to the Tosfos in Pesachim. He asks why is there a concept here of working on one's yetzer hara because of his feeling of hatred towards another Yid when there is a mitzvah to hate him because he transgresses the Torah? Tosfos answers that since you are justified to hate him he will also come to hate you even if your hatred is in your heart and it is not exhibited. This rule Shlomo Hamelech tells us in the passuk (Mishlei 27,19) כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם just as the waters reflect your face so too your heart and feelings towards another Yid is felt by him. He feels your hatred which could trigger and intensification of your hatred towards him. Therefore it is worthwhile to work on your yetzer harah and your feelings towards him by helping doing a chesed and it overrides the issur of tzaar baalei chayim.

After this interpretation one must ask so what is really this mitzvah of hating a sinner if we have to work on not hating him whenever possible in order that the hate should not intensify?

The B'air Yosef (Kedoshim) explains the reason behind the opinion why there is a mitzvah to hate a sinner. The Torah is afraid that by seeing a sinner transgress it will affect the viewer over time. Even Dovid Hamelech was worried about seeing any evil lest it might compromise his strict affirmation against the severity of doing an aveirah העבר עיני מראות שוא (Tehillim 119). As Chazal tell us העין רואה והלב חומד . By arousing hate towards the one who displays such undesirable action one thereby protects himself from being affected by such a sight and leaving a lasting impression. My Rebbi ztl said he still remembers Yidden who when they would see something that was an aveirah or peritzus they would spit on the ground and say phooey thereby showing a protest of hatred to what they just saw. This action of disgust was in order to block the entry of this negative encounter from entering and registering chas veshalom in their minds and hearts as a blemish.

However we must understand that there is a clear distinction between hating the person and hating his actions. Never are we allowed to hate a Yid no matter how evil he is because he nevertheless possesses a spark of neshama within. Hatred is only towards the aveirah and lifestyle that the Yid chooses. This concept is supported by the passuk יראת ה' שנאת רע hating the evil is to protect one's Yiras Shamayim. To hate the individual rasha, his being and existence, is completely prohibited.

With this we can understand why the passuk says לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך using the plural form of hearts. As Rashi writes in the Shema Yisrael the plural form conveys both the yetzer harah and the yetzer tov. When it comes to hating a sinner we must not hate with both hearts. With the yetzer tov we must love the Yid because he has a neshama which never becomes defiled. That hatred is even a mitzvah. In contrast one cannot cross the red line of hating him personally because those feelings are driven by the yetzer harah who strives to make you do aveiros (see Tanya chapter 32).

Let us now review the words of Tosfos. If one finds himself in the state of hating someone's aveiros who is rightfully called your שונא, one must work on his yetzer harah to do chesed to his enemy when the situation arises because he is always in danger that he might cross the line and begin hating the sinner himself. As the sefer Derech Aitz Hachayim explains the words of Tosfos. The כמים פנים אל פנים works that since you hate his aveirois he will reflect back a different hatred to you. He does not mirror back hate towards your actions for you did nothing wrong. Instead he will land up hating you. The next step will be that you will feel his return hatred to you personally which will increase your hatred to the next level of hating him personally and not his aveiros. This new hatred of yours is called שנאה גמורה an aveirah since one is never allowed to hate another Yid even if he is a sinner. You have just crossed that Red Line.

With this understanding we can suggest a new interpretation of the words שנאת חנם which describes the reason of the Second Churban. The only hatred that is permissible or a mitzvah is hating the aveiros of someone else for it will detract from your yiras shmayim. If you cross the line and start hating him, his being, then that hatred is for naught, misplaced and prohibited.

This double standard of hate and love towards the same individual can be seen from Avraham's relationship with his son Yishmael. In Bereshis 21,14 when Avraham sends Hagar and Yishmail out of his presence Rashi comments he gave her bread and a canteen but not gold or silver. The reason being because he hated Yishmael for going wayward תרבות רעה. A conflict to this interpretation arises at the Akaidah when Hashem asks Avraham to take בנך יחידך אשר אהבת the son that you love and sacrifice him. Avraham questioned Hashem I love both Yitzchak and Yishmael. So Hashem clarified that He means Yitzchak (Yalkut Shimoni). We see that he loved Yishmael and did not hate him? To this contradiction you cannot answer that maybe after he sent them away Yishmael did teshuvah and therefore the love returned to Avraham by the time of the Akiadah. For Chazal tell us that the teshuvah Yishmael did was only at the burial of Avraham Avinu and not before (Bereishis 25,9). Rav Chaim Shmulevitz ztl answers as above that Avraham hated the actions and deeds of Yishmael but he still loved him as his son.

A synopsis from the above is we are not allowed to hate any Yid even a rasha. We are only allowed to hate his actions and lifestyles which are anti Torah. Even those who we are commanded to hate because of their aveiros, we must also make a self- introspection that our hate is lishma without any neghios self interests. For if we fail to do so, we could easily cross the red line of hating the person himself. Therefore when we can do a chesed even to him we should strive to do so in order to check ourselves that we are completely free from hating any Yid.

Unfortunately, not to cross this fine red line of Torah concerning the emotion of hate even when it is a mitzvah is very challenging even for the spiritual giants. Let us take the hatred of the brothers towards Yosef. In Bereishis לז ד the Torah says וישנאו אותו they hated Yosef because he was cherished by his father over them and he also spoke lashon hara about them to his father. When Yosef had a dream of grandeur and told his brothers about his superior position over them, the passuk says ויוסיפו עוד שנא אותו they added on another layer to their previous hatred. And a third time it says ויוסיפו עוד שנא אותו. Since when does hate come in measurements? Don't we find in ourselves when someone wronged us gravely, for instance shamed us publicly, we start hating him with a total cut off policy leaving no room to add on hate to the hate. Not so with the Shevatim. One is not allowed to hate the person only his actions. If you are loathing his deeds then the intensity of hate depends upon how many wrongdoings he does to you. In contrast if one lets his yetzer hara to get involved in the machlokes the offender is written off as a loss and then there really is no more room for further hatred, discussion and repair.

As the story of Yosef and his brothers unfolds the continuous intensifying of hatred was bound to cross the line where the hatred becomes a hatred not just of dreams but rather an abhorring of Yosef himself as a person especially since they did not perform any chesed to Yosef ולא יכלו דברו לשלום. Note that the first three hatreds were describes as וישנאו אתו which can be read איתו with him (see Rashi 18). The hate was about things of his such as the kesones passim, and the two dreams but they didn't hate yet Yosef their brother. However after the third level of hatred that was reached, the passuk says ויקנאו בו they became zealots קנאיםin him, they hated his being and mere existence.

When the brothers saw Yosef approaching they said הנה בעל החלומות בא He is the owner of his dreams which means to say that his dreams are not being sent to him by Hashem as a nevuah as he claims. For if so how can there be a dream about his father and mother bowing down to him of which even our father got angry with. Rather it is he himself who is so off from the emes and thereby causes these dreams of haughtiness to fantasize with. At this juncture, the hatred of the brothers crossed the red line and they hated the person Yosef to the point that they plotted to kill him.

We are still suffering from Mechiras Yosef by crossing the red line of hatred to the person himself which we think it is ok and even a mitzvah. Even if we hate only lishma which is rare, we still don't do chesed and mevatair with the person who is hated even when the situation warrants it especially in a family feud when it comes to simchos.

Hatred has two aspects one of love and connection, and the other of separation and keeping your distance from it. If you hate his aveiros but love the Yid there still remains achdus between you and him. Once you hate him which includes the spark of the neshama then this achdus is lost. Hatred has the word heart in it. Hatred is only a mitzvah if you do it with one heart the yetzer tov lishma to preserve your yiras shamayim. Even in the hatred mode one must always have room in his heart to love the one you hate from the aspect of his neshama which is tightly connected to yours, high beyond the sky by the kisay hakavod.